Sunday, 1 June 2008

I hate Sundays

They are so rubbish.

So in my boredom I have decided to talk to you about...weird guys. London is a big place as you know. There are a lot of guys. And a lot of them are weirdos. For instance, the Foot Fetishist in the cinema. Mr. Fetishist sat in front of me. There I was, happily enjoying St. Trinians, when I felt a hand on my foot. I then saw his eye, looking through the gap in the chairs, staring at me. At the time, I thought it had been an accident, and he was looking to see what he'd touched. But no. It was me after all, and I attract weirdos. The rest of the film was spent with him either staring at me through the gap, or with his nasty, pale little hand groping around for my foot. By the time the film was finished, I had my legs over Rach so he couldn't get me. I would of stabbed him with my very pointy shoes, but what if he had a gun?! Plus he might've liked it. Ew.

Then there was the guy at the bus stop, who attempted to drag me off by the arm down the street. He only let go when I did a special move I learnt in school which involves grapping the persons stomach and twisting, and said to him 'If you don't let me go now I'll kick you in the balls'. He let me go.

Then there was the man who asked me to marry him in Trafalger Square. Then there was my stalker in college who said his name was Romeo (yeah, ok) and waited outside my 3 hour english class for me, then followed me to the tube station. Then there was the guy on my course at university who told my friends he 'loved' me, and who also said of the Hollyoaks incest storyline, 'If my sister was that hot, I'd fuck her too'. Nice.

There have been almost too many weirdos to remember. I think I just give out some weirdo vibe. Although its not just me. Rachel was on a bus once with a man doing 'private things' next to her...

6 comments:

selinaoolala said...

foot fetish guy eeeew!
i have loads of stalkers too, i don't think it's limited to london!
when i go home people in the street who i don't know notice if i've had a hair cut, go figure. a guy once found me on myspace and said he'd wrote a comic about me a year ago when he saw me in the street, he was a pretty good drawer but a bit of a freak. manchester stalkers are not shy, i've been stopped twice to say i have a grear aura?

Stephie-Pie said...

Ha ha, no its not limited to london, but being familiar only with london means im a bit biased. Sorry guys! Wow, you must have a really good aura then! You know, I felt it as soon as I saw your comment...lol

annah said...

weird weird men! i got stared at by a pretty scary looking guy on the train home from london...i had to move because he was making me really scared.

portobello market- i didn';t think it was all that commercial, really. it was my first time there, though...

Anonymous said...

This made me laugh. My mum told me about a guy who liked to put ink in people's hair on the London tube. That is probably the tamest of the wierdos she has told me about.

FashionSqueah! said...

Nice to know I'm not the only one who was born with a weirdo magnet! I do remember two guys once indicating a graveyard and announcing "we could bury you" that was the weirdest chat up line ever, I also got sniffed in a club queue, ewwww!

Hanna said...

Oh trust me. We have our fair share of freaks in the States. When I was living in Portland,I was once asked out by a heroin dealer with multiple facial tattoos named Squirrel.